The Blog

Hope

hello hurricane switchfoot lyrics hand lettering

Last week I wrote about life feeling off & how I deal with that. I worked really really hard to stay patient, give myself grace & make time/space for my meditation/yoga. But something just wasn't right. It's like my brain is the biggest A-hole in the entire world. Honestly, it was kind of a rough week. I felt lonely and trapped in the house. As much as I refuse to believe the universe is out to get me, that's how it felt.

But life is full of surprises. And my buddy Drew took me to the Switchfoot concert last night, and the vibe/music/lyrics/energy was the exact kick in the pants I needed to wake up. You see...their bus broke down on the way to the show. They didn't know if they were going to make it. Drew and I went to the wrong dang venue AND thought the doors opened at 7:30, when they really opened at 6:30. Double whammy. But it was all good.

From the moment they came out and made HOPE & LOVE themes of the night, I just knew I had to let go of all these feelings of life being 'off'. Because I'm pretty dang blessed to be where I'm at in life with who I'm with. My life is good. We're working (slowly) to fix up an RV to hit the road full time. We're not hurting for anything. We have all of life's basic necessities covered. We spend so much time together as a family. Life is GOOD. I'm hopeful, for the first time in a long time. And it feels great.

I wanted to share all this because I know life is rough. But when I choose to focus on lack or compare or start to get bummed because life isn't perfect, well, then I'm missing out on a lot of life. I had no patience a few days this past week and it was all because I was so messed up in my head about focusing on how slow the RV was going, and how Hello Happiness is growing slower than we'd like. But all that did was keep me from seeing the beauty in my life. And that's a shame.

I hope you take a few minutes, right now, just stop reading after this paragraph. Close your eyes. Take 3 deep breaths. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Then find 3 things you have in your life to be grateful for. Do it.

Ok, welcome back. I hope you feel better. See if you can make this a habit for when you start to feel bummed and focus on lack. Because the universe is not out to get you. It's not. And chances are, you are loved by some folks. You can make it a point to get up and watch the sunrise or sunset (or both). You can take off your shoes and put your feet in the grass. You can put on some good music and dance like no one's watching. Or just dance with no music. Move. Let go. You are so loved. Think about how amazing it would be if we all lived like it?

Don't let the hurricanes in your life silence your love.

Josh Solar
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When Life Feels Off

it's ok to be alive awesome hand lettered words

I've been having one of those weeks where I just feel off. Things that normally don't bother me have been. I don't have much patience. I feel isolated and alone but can't figure out where I'd go or who I'd go there with if given the chance. I'm not sleeping well. I've had a few nights where I've tried to numb my feelings with food (I seriously ate a whole bag of Trader Joe's Ghost Pepper potato chips in one sitting). I then make myself feel bad for eating like crap while I'm still continuing to do so. 

What I have been doing, though, is still making time for meditation/yoga. I'm hoping the answers to what is troubling me will come up in the stillness I'm creating for myself. I've been playing music that soothes me and moves me (1)(2)(3)(4). I've been spending more time outdoors with the kids and off electronics, even if it's just laying in the grass and staring off into space. 

So far, though, no answers. I trust the path. I trust the process. I trust my heart is leading me somewhere. I have a feeling it has to do with a longing to be back in the mountains again. Something about the smell of pine trees, the crunch of my feet on the trails, the fresh mountain air. Or it could be a yearning for the crashing of waves, the in and out flow of the water, the warm sand beneath my feet. I don't feel like I belong in the suburbs of Kansas City, or the suburbs anywhere to be honest.

I bring all this up, because we set up at a Chick Events event this past weekend, and a few different times, people came up to me to let me know how much they enjoy reading the words I share here. They appreciated my vulnerability and openness about what's going on with my life. That somehow, they felt less alone in their struggles. 

And, that's the point of life, right? To feel connected to other people. To love and be loved. We weren't meant to live our lives secluded from others. Our souls crave meaningful experiences/interactions with others. 

So I've made a little list of things that I know will get me out of this funk I'm currently in.

  • It starts with forgiveness. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes. Let go of regrets. Give yourself some grace and know that being honest with yourself isn't always easy and sitting with so-called 'negative' feelings isn't always comfortable, but it is always meaningful and another opportunity to grow.
  • Surround yourself with words that inspire you. Print out art (or buy art) you like to look at, or words that make you feel something positive. Make art that inspires you. Make it so everywhere you go you're seeing something that makes you feel alive and needed. You are not alone, nor were you created to live alone. Art can remind you about all the joys life has to offer.
  • Make a list of all the things that fill your soul. Visit it when you're feeling empty. Include big things and little things. My list would include get outside, put my barefeet in the grass, draw something, watch a video on youtube that will make me laugh, take a hike, meditate, take a cold shower, listen to my Super Fun Happy Dance playlist and let go, read a book, listen to a podcast, swim in the ocean, climb a mountain, go to the Mixx and eat a Southwest Chicken Salad, take a road trip, etc...I could keep going. The point is to just make a huge list of all the things you can do that make you feel joy. When you're feeling bummed, pick one or two things off the list and do them.

For some silly reason, I go through phases where I feel like I'm not supposed to be happy. Like, there's so much suffering in the world...so much pain...that I'm not supposed to be as positive as I am. But here's what I'm learning when I get in these moods. I have to give myself permission to be fully alive. It's OK to be alive. It's OK to live a full life that makes you happy. That's not to downplay all the pain and sadness and hurt in the world. But I can't dim my light because there's tragedy/hurts out there. 

I've returned to these words from Hannah Brencher many times... 

Just keep going and keep your cheerleaders close. The ones who tell you you’re “something” before you ever believe it for yourself. Victories will come. And failures will grow out of you. And the world will do a lot to tell you that long hours and too much work matter more than flesh and bones. But your cheerleaders— the ones who found you first— will keep you going. They’ll pump you full of life. They’ll keep you standing on the ground. (whole article found here)

I hope you know wherever you are in life, that right this moment, you feel loved. I hope whatever pain/sadness/hurt/regret you might be feeling isn't running your life. Because you are needed, my friend. You are loved and needed and wanted in this world. You have unique gifts that make this world a better place. I hope you know who your cheerleaders are.

Josh Solar
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What Working on Our RV Has Taught Me About Life

embrace the pace hand letter watercolor

So a few weeks ago I announced we bought an RV, were going to fix it up and hit the road. I talked about desire and adventure and dreaming. But here's the thing. Fixing up and redecorating one thing has led to us fixing up and redecorating another.

Our RV is currently sitting in our driveway, no carpet or flooring, no cabinet doors on, it still needs new tires, and I spent 3 hours trying to re-wire the new stereo I bought, only to find out there's no power to the stereo. The new silver hinges we bought to hold the cabinet doors on that matched our white/gray paint are off by 1mm, so they don't line up. We bought a new door knob for the bathroom, but there's a 5 inch backset (which you can't buy in the stores, so we had to order that online). I blew a bunch of fuses because I was told I could buy any wall sconces and install them in the RV, turns out that I need wall sconces that run on 12v power. One thing after another after another after another. 

And this is where the life lessons have come in. Nothing ever works out exactly how you picture it in your head. Which leads to a lot of frustrated yelling, urges to just call it quits and move on from whatever stupid idea it is that I'm currently pursuing. Unmet expectations can destroy a lot more than just a day. At least in my world they do. I was literally in tears the other night because I just want to get out on the road and out of this stupid house we live in. I just want the RV done.

But it's not done. And we don't really have the money to hire someone who knows what they're doing to do it for us. So Jenny and I are approaching the RV just like we do with our businesses and life in general. We take it one breath at a time (which is really all we have when you think about it). We watch a lot of youtube videos. We ask around in the amazing Facebook groups (1)(2) we've found geared towards RV living and kids. We hustle and figure stuff out, even though it's incredibly frustrating.

And that's how life goes, though. Especially when you're pursuing unconventional living. So here's a few tips & and tricks I've applied to my days recently...

  1. Radical self care - I've done yoga every day for the past 7 days. I've squeezed it in because I know how good it is to nurture my body in that way. I've been doing more rounds of breathing and meditation and cold showers.  I have cut way back on sugar and drink way more water. When dealing with frustrating scenarios, taking care of yourself should be a priority. These are the things that work for me. Find what radical self care for you looks like and commit to making the space for it.
  2. Trust you're on the right path - If you pause and take a few breaths, especially when you're caught all up in IT, does it feel like you're living the life you want for yourself? If the answer is yes, work as hard as you can to hold onto that faith and trust that you're on the right path. If the answer is know, what pivot do you need to make? What is your heart asking of you? I'm a big believer in letting my heart guide me. And following my heart is rarely easy, but always fulfilling. Trust the heart is not leading you astray.
  3. Embrace the pace - People constantly ask me how close we are, and I try and answer the question, but truthfully, I have absolutely no idea how close we are to being ready to hit the road full time. The pace is way slower than I'd like, but I have to embrace it, because if I don't, I'll just get caught up in the frustrations of it all going so slowly. Embracing the pace allows me to just be in the moment, doing what I can, and knowing that's goiing to be ok. Things are happening the way they're supposed to, and the universe works on a different timeline than what I want.
  4. Take it one breath at a time - Really, that's all we're ever given. Breath after breath until there's not breaths left. Remembering to breathe and savor each and every one to the best of my abilities has helped me trust and embrace. It's helped me keep my cool despite a few tear led meltdowns. I'm ok, because I have my breath.

all we have is one breath at a time hand letter

I hope whatever you're working on in life right now that these little tips can help you out in some way. In an ideal world, we'd all be living the life of our dreams, without having to work for it, haha. But I know that once this RV is completed and we're out on the road, there will be such a deeper appreciation for the work that went into making the RV a place where we're all happy to spend quality family time together. 

Josh Solar
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What Would You Say to Yourself 10 Years Ago if You Could?

I was chatting with a friend recently about life, and what it would look like to go back in time and have a conversation with yourself. Because life is constantly teaching us lessons, whether we're open to them or not, it'll be teaching. And if we miss an opportunity to learn one of those lessons, you can bet another opportunity will come up at some point to try again.

But what would life look like if we had the opportunity to have a conversation with our younger selves? What would you say to yourself? What would you want your young & probably immature self to know about what life holds for you? I let those questions ruminate in my mind during this morning's meditation. And here's what popped up...

conversations with my past self...

  1. Listen to your heart and it's cravings/desires. The heart knows things. The heart is our direct connection to our soul. And when you're not listening, your heart and soul will slowly harden. The heart should be trusted, not ignored. Spending time with the heart and it's desires connects you to the Divine, and the more time you spend cultivating a good relationship with the Divine and your soul, the more peace and contentment and joys you'll find in your life.
  2. Be honest in where you're at and who you are. It's easy to get caught up in what we think society wants from us...or what's expected of us. But what other people want for us isn't what's necessarily best for us, or how we want to live our life. Get honest with who you really are and how you want to live your life. This honesty will help keep you headed down a path that feels right for you.
  3. Create more than you consume. The books you read, the movies and tv shows you watch, the music and podcasts you listen to, the art you look at, the blog posts you read...they all shape your thoughts and how you see the world. Those things aren't bad by any means, but they can overpower your mind. And you were born to create. Spend time alone with no distractions. Pay attention to what comes up and what you want to say...then create from that space. Make things. Draw, dance, sing, paint, doodle. The things that come up from that space are tied directly to #1 on this list. And remember, the heart knows things.
  4. Say yes. This one's pretty simple. Say yes to things that excite you. Say no to things that don't. Yes is an invitation. Yes leads you down a path of opportunity. Yes leads to new experiences, and life is all about experiences.
  5. Stoke the fires at home instead of trying to set the whole world ablaze. I get it. You want to change the world. You want the whole world to know who you are. You want to leave a good legacy. You want to make the world a better place. But if you spend all your time on those things...you're going to lose what truly matters most, your wife and kids. Show up for them first. Be there for them. See them for the wonderful people they are. Love them to the best of your abilities. Stoke those fires at home and you'll feel a whole heck of a lot happier than expending all your energy trying to change the world and coming home drained and empty and offering your family your leftovers.
  6. Let that shit go (forgive). Forgive, then forgive some more. Forgive yourself for all your mistakes. Forgive others when you feel hurt. No one is perfect and we're all doing the best we can. This one ties back to #5. Forgive those closest to you. Let all the wrongdoings/pain go to the best of your abilities. Because carrying around that pain will keep you from truly showing up for those you love. And before you know it, that resentment for not having dinner made, or not having the dishes done or whatever silly thing you're upset about will slowly grow and fester and before long, you're almost divorced and unhappy. Forgive forgive forgive and forgive some more.
  7. Life's a game and the rules can be made up as you go. Games are supposed to be fun. Play. Follow your excitement. Do things that light you up as often as possible. Ask what if. Dream big. Play with others. Smile. Do things that make you happy and share them with others. Question things. Explore. Wander and get lost. Don't be afraid to meet new people. It's all a game that will be over way too soon. Enjoy it.

Your turn...what would you say to yourself 10 years ago if you could?

Josh Solar
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Spread Good Vibes!

The other day I was flipping through all my T-shirts trying to find something to wear. Those that know me well know that I'm usually found in a gray t-shirt, shorts & flip-flops, no matter the season. But sometimes I like to wear shirts with encouraging messages on them. 

That was the case the other day. I really wanted to put on a shirt that made me feel happy & joyful, but none of my clothes got me that excited, so I sat down with a pencil and made something that would. I ended up with this Good Vibes design. And I made it available on Teespring for the next 6 days.

good vibes hand lettering t-shirt design

I made it available in a few different styles, both for men and women, as well as in different colors. You can get it on a t-shirt, hoodie, a V-neck, a women's slouch t-shirt, a tank top, on a mug and even a tote bag

Pick it up and you'll be spreading good vibes in no time!

good vibes t-shirt design available on teespring

 

Josh Solar
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Where Are You Spending Your Energy?

devoted compassionism graphic

"It's easy to be liked by strangers. It's very hard to be loved and connected to the people in your home when you're always bringing them your most exhausted self and resenting the fact that the scraps you're giving them aren't cutting it." - Shauna Niequist

I read this quote in an essay in Shauna's new book, Present Over Perfect. And it hit me hard. I'd never realized how our energy levels could effect us this way. That we can give and give and give...but eventually we're out of energy. And how it's easy to get caught up in giving to people in our social networks...responding to Instagram + facebook comments...creating Snapchat stories to share with the world all of the wonderful things we're doing. We give and give in our businesses + to our jobs + the people we work with. But when that's all said and done, do we have anything left for our spouses + kids?

Because before you know it, you're empty + you've got nothing meaningful left to offer those you should be loving the most. So you jump back into the easy things. You jump back into the social networks + Pokemon Go + whatever else you fill your time with. Because that takes less energy + less effort than the deeper soul filling connections of loving your family.

I've spent so much time on Facebook/Instagram, Clash of Clans + reading about sports news that really didn't effect my life much (I actually couldn't even finish this post without clicking over to the Ringer to see if they posted any new stories since the last time I went there when I sat down to start writing). I would hide in the bathroom and read books to avoid interacting with my kids + wife. I would refresh e-mail constantly, just to see if someone had sent something that required my attention.

But all that left me feeling so so empty. I literally spent 90% of my time on things that shouldn't be more important than my marriage + my kids. It's ironic that what I was craving was deeper connections with my family, yet I was not spending my energy that would lead to those deeper connections. And when I'd wake up in the morning feeling empty, instead of doing the hard work I needed to be doing to foster more meaningful relationships with Jenny + the kids, I'd just go right back into the same energy draining patterns/habits. Repeat day after day. 

Then something changed. I deactivated my facebook account. I blocked websites that I was wasting time on that weren't adding value to my life (both on my phone & my browser). Before I took on an activity, I asked, will this light me up or will this leave me feeling guilty afterwards? I began working out again + I recommitted to my Wim Hof Breathing/Cold Showers. I forgave myself for all the things I had been doing and focused on devoted compassionism towards myself + my family.

Slowly but surely things started to feel better. I had more energy to play with my kids. Jenny + I stopped fighting. Life feels GREAT again. I physically feel lighter now. There's hope now where before there was despair. There's more laughter where before there was yelling. There's joy + dancing + deep conversations. This. This right now is what makes life worth living. 

I hope reading through this sparked some thoughts in you. I'd like to encourage you to take a few moments + look at things you spend your time on. Ask yourself if you feel alive + light afterwards, or empty + drained. Then work towards spending more time on the light + alive activities.

I want to be very clear here this process only works if you give yourself grace upon grace to not get caught up in the negative. Those things happened/continue to happen, you can't go back and change them. You can only be who you want to be in the present moment. Focus on that. Start small + change little things. Soon enough those little things will snowball into massive change + you'll realize how full your life is of amazingness. 

Brian Andreas shared recently his 41st Secret: Nothing is teaching you a lesson. Or teaching someone else a lesson. There's only this: who do you want to be? & are you being that? 

I believe in YOU. I'm rooting for YOU. 

Josh Solar
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Adventure is Calling + Innate Desires

adventure is calling hand letter doodle

Jenny + I have been spending most of our time these recent weeks busting our butts to get out of our house + into our RV to just go and see the world. It's been a dream of mine to pursue a lifestyle like this for some time now. I've always felt this desire to be out in nature more. Exploring off the beaten path. Swimming in fresh water (hopefully super cold water!). Climbing mountains & getting lost amongst the tall trees. And doing it all with those I love the most right by my side. 

And yet, I've been living in the suburbs for what seems like an eternity. Life has felt off for quite some time + I'm pretty sure it's because I've been choosing comfort over challenging myself. I've been playing it safe when my heart has wanted me to let go. I've never fully understood the effects my lifestyle choices have been having on me until recently when my life was shattered into millions of pieces + I had to pick them all up + reassemble them. 

Why do we do this? Why do we choose to keep spending time in places that don't light us up? Why do we spend time working at jobs we don't really love? Why do we try and live up to these 'American Dream' standards that leave us feeling empty + defeated + lonely + depressed? Why do we choose to collect meaningless things over making memorable experiences? Who decided that society's rules on what life should look like should be applied to all of us + why do we let them guide us into these empty lives?

Look, our time alive is short. It's literally a countdown until our death from the second we're conceived in our mommy's belly. The number of breaths we'll take is finite. The number of kisses we'll give is finite. The number of times we'll make love is finite. The number of laughs we'll share is finite. And we have absolutely no idea what those numbers are...just that each time we laugh, it might be the last time. Each time we catch a sunrise it just might be the last time. 

I share all these thoughts, not to be a downer, but how much of our life is wasted doing crap that leaves us feeling empty? I know what lights me up won't be what lights you up. You might think cramming a family of 5 (and a cat) into a 34 ft. long RV + driving wherever our hearts desire sounds like the worst idea ever. That's ok. You do you, and I do me. That's what makes life so great. There's literally an infinite amount of options for how you can spend your time on this earth.

I'm urging you to spend some time with those special folks in your life talking about what lights you up. Talk about your dreams. Talk about what problems you want to solve. Talk about what makes you happy + fills you up with so much joy. Then take a good honest look at how you spend most of your time. What adjustments can you make so you're living from the joyful space?*

For me...that joyful space involves adventure. Because it's calling. And I can't ignore it any longer. I can't waste any more time in a house that feels so weighed down with negative energy. I don't want to lay my head down at night + feel like I wasted another one. I can't do it any longer. My heart is so wide open right now. Light + love is literally bursting forth from the depths of my soul. I've shared that part of me in bits + pieces throughout the years, but I feel I took a step towards fully letting go + embracing what I have to offer this world in the past few weeks. I've kept it shuttered long enough, contained in a lifestyle that frankly wasn't working for me. 

My dream is for you to feel that light + love in your life...in whatever ways feel good to you. Because whatever is burning inside of you wants desperately to be let out into the world. Your whole heart + soul aches to be seen/felt/heard. You are love incarnate. Your dreams matter. This life is short + YOU MATTER.

*If you don't have someone in your life who you feel you can talk to about those things, give me a call at (816) 588-9232. I'm always up for a conversation about what lights folks up.

Josh Solar
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What I'm Loving

We've been busy doing work on the RV + packing up all our stuff, so here's a quick little post full of some stuff I've been loving lately...

This video is inspiring on so many levels... 

MERELY OBSERVATIONS. from gnarly bay on Vimeo.

 

This article full of expectations vs. reality about the grieving process is pretty eye opening.

A few months ago I set my iPhone up exactly like Tristan outlines in this article on mindful phone use. Now that I've become accustomed to my system, I use the phone way less than before and way more intentionally.

I've been doing as much research on grief/trauma and how it effects the mind + body. This book on overcoming trauma through yoga has far and away been the best description I've ever read about trauma effects on the body. 

I recently got an iPad Pro to take with us on the RV. Currently, Jenny + I both can work remotely, so we weighed the pros & cons of having two laptops vs. 1 laptop & 1 iPad Pro. I'm so glad we got the iPad. Drawing on it is so much fun! Here's one of my first sketches (and future greeting card)...

i love you more than you know sketch

As always, know you're loved, you're amazing + you're so much stronger than you think. 

Josh Solar
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Here's to Dreaming Big & Taking Risks

So a week ago we decided we wanted to sell our house & live out of an RV.

Because why not?
Because there feels like a whole bunch of negative energy in our house.
Because we crave adventure.
Because life's better when you're trying something new, right? 
Because Jenny + I have always been big dreamers.
Because we want to meet people + share stories + encourage one another.
Because we want to show our kids the world in real life, not just looking at other's pictures of beautiful places.
Because how fun will it be to live solely for the purpose of finding beauty in the unexpected?
Because we want to show our kids that our dreams are worth pursuing + risks are worth taking.
Because we want to know that we punched fear in the face.
Because we want to look back on life when we're 80 + have no regrets.

So we bought an RV...
Here's to dreaming big + taking risks in pursuit of what makes life worth living...
awesome old rv
Josh Solar
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A Story About A Boy Who Loves a Girl Very Much

you are not alone, not now, not ever. i am here for you.
This story starts with a boy who loves a girl very much. But the girl is struggling. And the boy has his heart in the right place, but he was scared. And the support the boy was offering to the love of his life wasn't being received as support. So both the boy's and the girl's feelings were hurt even more. And there was a lot of unhappy times. Mean things were said. And the boy almost lost the girl.

The boy felt alone. The girl felt alone, too. The boy found himself out of town, surrounded by friends. Yet still he felt alone. And scared the life he so desperately wanted wasn't going to be there when he returned. So he pulled back. He spent time alone. He spent some time meditating and praying and digging deep within to see if his heart held some answers on how to truly love the girl in a way that felt loving and compassionate to her.

The boy came home from his trip. The boy and the girl went for a walk. The boy promised to show up for the girl. But the boy had made those promises before. The girl hesitated. The boy pressed in. The only way to show he meant it was by letting his actions back up his words. 

The boy keeps showing up. The boy says, "You are not alone...I am here for you...Rest if you need to...Feel the sadness and grief...Take all the time you need and know I am here for you." In the past the boy wanted to fix things as fast as possible. To just put a band-aid over it all. To pick the girl up and show her how amazing her life was. But the girl needs to feel her sadness. To fully heal from traumatic experiences, one must feel all the feelings and process through them at their own pace. The boy knows this now. 

The boy just wants to love the girl.
Now, there is hope where before there was only sadness and hurt feelings.
Now, there is connection where before there was loneliness and resentment.
Now, there is patience where before there was frustration.
The boy loves the girl.
And the girl loves the boy back.
Now there is love.
Josh Solar
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How to Show Up (a 3 step process for showing up)

a 3 step process for showing up for those you love most in life
Josh Solar
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Wherever You Are, I Hope You're Happy

wherever you are, i hope you're happy

Sunday night, I found myself heading home from a long day of shooting a wedding with a friend. I was deep in thought. Visions of big dreams + changes coming to my life in the near future. All of a sudden this pickup truck swerves in front of me, drives off the road at 70 mph + ends up in the ditch after having rolled 7 or 8 times.

It all got me thinking. About how close the truck came to hitting me (15 ft!). About how my life could've changed in the blink of an eye. If I had died, was there some things I wished I would've done? Not necessarily things I'd of done differently, we all carry some of those regrets with us, but things that my heart is calling me to do but I've put off for whatever silly reason.

What things am I scared to pursue? Am I afraid of failing? Fear of being judged for pursuing the things I most desire? Afraid of looking silly? Or afraid of not being accepted for whatever reason? There are so many reasons I don't pursue my callings...

But, there's a few things I keep learning about life. And when I forget, something pops up in life as a reminder. It's this... 

  • Life is short.
  • Our time is precious.
  • Relationships are all that truly matter.
  • I need to follow my excitement...no matter what.

I don't know where you're at in life or whether you're happy, but I hope you are. And I hope you listen to all the things your heart is calling you to do + you work dang hard to bring those dreams/callings/inclinations to reality. Life is too short to live any other way.

Josh Solar
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