Reflections on Surrendering to What Is

don't doubt the magic in you encouragement
As this year winds down, I find myself replaying everything that happened this year. Well, not everything, just the big stuff I can remember. This year was a challenging year for me. Filled with many failures and times when looking back I can see how I acted out of fear and the need to try and control things outside of my control.

It's only fitting when my friend asked me near the end of 2014 what my word was going to be for 2015 that I replied "surrender." I can see how life brought me so many situations where I should've just surrendered to what was, and yet I didn't.

I can't and never will be able to change the fact 2 of my kids have cystic fibrosis. Surrender.
I can't take away all the emotional and physical trauma from Jenny's childhood. Surrender.
Moving to a different city won't rid me of any of my issues, right here in KC is what's best for my family right now. Surrender.

It took me a long time to finally learn the true meaning of surrendering to what is. It took countless hours of meditation/prayer. It took exposing myself to the cold, harsh nature and pushing my body to limits I never thought possible (thanks Wim). It took opening my heart and just choosing to love unconditionally, over and over again, even though I might not have made that same choice in the past. It took surrendering to the idea that I'm not my past mistakes. I always have a choice in how I speak to myself and others, and how I choose to think about a situation.

I'm proud to say this year has taught me a lot about surrendering. I know this year was one of the hardest years of my life, but looking back now, I've learned so much about what it means to be human. It taught me so much about love, and what matters most in my life. For that, I'm grateful.

Heading into 2016, I'm choosing the word 'prosper' to be my word of the year. It's been too long since I've felt like I've actually prospered. When googling the definition of the word prosper you'll find...
  • succeed in material terms; be financially successful.
  • flourish physically; grow strong and healthy.

Honestly, I'm ready to prosper in both of those ways. I'm tired of feeling like my lot in life is to struggle and work so hard to still feel like I'm not getting anywhere other than treading water and surviving. 

To me, prosperity in the coming year will look like a few amazing adventures with my family (yay for Thailand being booked!). It will look like Hello Happiness continuing to grow into something that will support my family. It will look like more meditations and focus on intentional breaths. It will look like less distracted interactions with the world and more love letters left. I'll continue to push myself, mentally and physically, find new cold water to submerge myself in and bigger mountains to climb. 

The previous paragraph is filled with all things I have control over. If I want more adventures with my family, I can choose to book them and go, or not. I can continue to hustle to grow HHCC by reaching out to more shops about carrying our card line, or working on new products, but if I don't do the work, HHCC wont grow. I can't control much around me, but I can choose to sit down every morning and pray/meditate. I'm in control of how often I look at my phone. I'm in control of how many letters I write. I have a choice in all this...

Looking back, I see how much doubt I had about myself and my ability to surrender at the start of this year. But, contemplating where I'm at now? I see so much growth. Spiritually, mentally, physically.

Heading into the new year I have some words for you. There's nothing more true I could ever say to you than this. Don't doubt the magic in you, my friends. You really are filled with so much amazingness. My wish for you is you'll find growth, contentment and gratitude in the coming year. Life will always be perfectly imperfect. I hope you forgive any past mistakes and go forward in life knowing how loved you really are. Because you are loved. You matter. You make the world a better place. Namasté.

Josh Solar

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