The Fixer

we can't fix each other. we're not meant to. but to not feel alone in the dark means everything. treacy mize quoteA good friend of mine said to me only a few weeks ago, "We can't fix each other. We're not meant to. But to not feel alone in the dark means everything." I knew instantly those words were true. I told her I was going to write about them and my issues as a chronic fixer. Little did I know my life was going to be flipped upside down on a random Saturday in May.  

So there I was, alone in bed as I had said the wrong thing to Jenny...again. Every single time I open my mouth these days I say the wrong thing and she pulls away. The pain from her losing her twin brother is still fresh. The grief is strong. And all I want to do is take her pain away. It hurts me so much to see her hurt so much. 

Yet I can't fix her. I'm not supposed to. I'm here to hold her as tight as possible. To let her know she's not alone. To let her know I love her and I'm here for her. To let her know I'm not afraid to go down in the darkness with her and hold her hand through it all. I know I can't fix her, she doesn't need to be fixed.

My focus these days is on being fully present in whatever way she needs me to be. I know we'll work through this process together and as time goes on, we'll be in an even deeper love than we have now. I know she can't see it yet, but I do, and I don't care how long it takes to get there. Jon Foreman sings, "Love alone is worth the fight." And it rings so true for me these days. I will fight for LOVE.

I share this story and these words, because so many of us are living in the dark these days. Financial worry, illness, grief, stress...there's lots of darkness coming in all shapes and sizes. If you're in the dark, know you're not the only one. If you're in a good place right now, I'd be willing to bet you know someone who could use you being there with them, in their darkness. Go to them, call them, reach out. But not to fix them, only to let them know they aren't alone. Just like we aren't meant to fix others, we're also not meant to go through life alone.  

It's in the reaching out with love when miracles come to life. You are a living, breathing miracle worker, capable of creating miracles for those around you. It's a gift we've all been given. It's a gift that can never be taken away from us. Use your gifts today, my friends...

Josh Solar

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